Monday, May 11

In the spotlight

This past weekend Mindy and I ventured to Holland to watch our very first Tulip Time parade. We had of course both marched in it several times, but it was a cool experience being able to watch Eric in it for the first time.

Holland was a lot of fun, and the carnival food was to die for. Every cart seemed to have something more amazing than the last. When Mindy and I were sitting sharing an enormous elephant ear we witnessed a hilarious jumbo (footlong) corndog that looked like a penis. Mindy refused to photograph the event for you loyal readers, but you will have to use your imaginations and trust me that it was indeed hilarious.

As it turns out, we actually ended up in the background of the news. Some might think that it was the beautiful black baby in front of us that lured the Fox 17 interviewer to our location, but I would argue that it is the imperceptible yet powerful gravitation pull produced by my exceptionally large nose. Whichever the case it turns out that we were on the news, I'm the one in the faggy yellow windbreaker and the long trashy hair. Not only for those reasons, but I was super worried because after I had blown my nose in a completely hillbilly half paper towel, only then did I recognize the fact that a news camera had been there all along. So for the rest of the day I was worried that I would be blowing my retarded nose on the news. Excitedly, we waited for the NASCAR race to end (which was won by old-balls Mark Martin). Tulip Time and the adjoining Right to Life float banning was the lead story. You can see the result below. Notice how many times you think… "Well, Benn is certainly out of the woods now. There is no way they'll show him… No wait, I guess there was."

Anyways, thanks to all of you who slugged through my epically long last post. And especially to all of you who helped me with the questions I posed therein.

As a parting note, I was behind a jeep with an awesome license plate the day of my big post, but it slipped through the cracks until now. This was an Iraq Veteran plate, what's vanity read "H8SAND." (How do you like that Grandpa, I agree that we need to use the non-personal subordinating conjunction "what's").


  1. It could have been worse! You could have been picking your nose, or had one of those stringy things on your lips that you saw on some guy being interviewed a few weeks ago. It wasn't that bad!

  2. I was watching that vid, and thinking to myself "Where's Benn?" Then I saw you. :P

  3. You underestimate my sneakyness. I am very sneaky, sir.